Perfectionist in recovery

The term recovering perfectionist is spot on for me.

For years I wore the badge of perfectionist as a sign of virtue.

I thought it showed that I was a hard-worker, a striver, a seeker of excellence.

In reality, it was a flimsy cover for a lack of self-worth. And, a symptom of taking myself far too seriously.

The thing is, when you’re looking for perfection, it’s not a focus on a lofty endeavour or ideal.

The focus is always on what is missing. The lack. What is ‘wrong’, and what could be better.

That realisation literally blew my mind. 🤯

In yoga we talk a lot about the concepts and practices of equanimity, non-judgement and non-attachment: AKA. Kryptonite to perfectionism. 💫

I think I’ve only just connected these dots.

Originally shared on Instagram April 2021