See you on the loop

Photo by Stas Knop on

In the past, I’ve experienced a huge amount of anxiety around public speaking.

Over the past few years, I’ve worked hard to get better at it. And, with the right preparation, I’m able to get myself into a resourceful enough place so that my brain and mouth are able to engage at the same time and actual real sentences come out.

Honestly people, the struggle is real.

Recently though, I attended a webinar that was definitely out of my comfort zone. It had participants from across the world, it was all new stuff and I didn’t know what to expect.

On one level it was a success: I managed to pull together a couple of coherent sentences to say, got a lot of useful info. Didn’t die.

Short on time, I hopped straight into class planning mode for my yoga class. It was only then that I realised that I’d completely ignored my body for the whole webinar. As I started to drop down into my body, I felt the tightness in my back and the residue of stomach butterflies catching in the back of my throat. Weak-legged, achy head. Anxiety hangover. What struck me as I started to move my body, is just how easily old patterns can slot back into place. The familiarity of it surprised me.

Now, it’s not big news to tell you that the movement worked a treat. It soothed my nervous system and brought me back to myself. But that’s not the point of this post.

This is the point. 👇🏼

For a moment I felt like I was back at the start. I was frustrated, asking myself ‘how am I not beyond this by now?!’

The truth is though, I was nowhere near the start. That person wouldn’t have even signed up for the webinar.

No, this my friends, is a great example of an upward cycle of progress. It feels very similar to the beginning, but it’s not.

It’s just a loopback around so we can reinforce our foundations with everything we’ve learned since the last time we were there. Remembering this really helps me to skip the rumination stage. I can ditch the story and just apply what I’ve learned. Keep moving forward.

For me, it’s public speaking, but it’s the same for any skill. So, I’m here to tell you, if this applies to you, to give yourself a break.

See you on the loop.

Originally posted on Instagram May 21 2021

Published by Claire WB

Perfectionist in recovery.

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